So here’s the thing – I never know how to introduce myself. I write, and I love it. But do I call myself a writer? – “Honestly, I don’t think I’m there yet.” I have a podcast show that did rather well (it's a whole other story as to why S2 isn’t out yet), but am I a podcaster? – “Too soon, don’t you think?”
What is wrong with me? Well, for the most part, I couldn’t put a finger on it. And then, thanks to Netflix’s Valeria, I realised – It’s probably Imposter Syndrome! And I say ‘probably’ because…
The irony, even the disorder sounds fake even though it’s absolutely real. Though not officially recognised in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it is found that over 70% people are bound to experience it at least once.
Imposter Syndrome is when we believe we’re far from as competent as everyone perceives us to be; accompanied by this nagging fear that we’re a fraud and will be exposed anytime now! Neither age nor background, status, experience, or educational qualifications comes into play, anyone can be a victim of this rather understated yet crippling disorder.
So if you tend to continuously – doubt yourself or deride your work, are entirely off when it comes to assessing your skills and competence, fear not meeting expectations, sabotage yourself, then you, my friend, can also broadly be classified in this spectrum.
Dr. Valerie Young, expert, and author of the renowned book: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It categorises them.
1. The Perfectionist: People who set too high a standard for themselves almost as though they’re looking forward to dwelling on their inability to meet it. Believing themselves to be subpar, they expect their work to be top-notch, every single time.
2. The Superhuman: The kind who are addicted to the external validation that work brings and not work in itself, certain that their truth will be revealed, they push themselves to work far more than anyone else in their same position.
3.The Natural Genius: Akin to the perfectionists, they evaluate themselves based on both meeting their expectations and also on getting it right, the first time around.
4.The Soloist: They are people whose biggest fear is that asking for guidance or advice will reveal their incompetence, and therefore prefer to suffer and struggle on their own.
5. The Expert: Are those who feel like they never know enough and always feel inferior or like a phony despite all their accolades and years of experience; therefore are perpetually in a constant state of panic to gain more knowledge and information.
And if like me, you’re wondering what causes it - although it doesn’t have a singular root, some research has indicated that it can be attributed to nature. However, personally, from my limited understanding and experience, I feel like Imposter Syndrome is caused by both nature and nurture as it’s slowly developed and its hold on us is strengthened overtime. But eh! what would I know right?
Want to shed this debilitating habit? Below are a few tricks and tips in brief, an amalgamation of research and personal experience.
1. Awareness - Like almost every psychological struggle, the first step to recovery is acknowledgment. Let’s not deny what we’re feeling. Notice it, give it its space but whatever we do.. we don’t revel in it. Let’s (try and) be kind to ourselves (as kind as we can be in this time space and slowly keep adding to it – one day and one kind thought at a time).
2. Rewire thought process - Understand that everyone feels out of depth at some point or the other, but reiterate that our feelings at that moment are transient and don’t dictate our entire being. Besides every specialist or expert was a beginner at some point in time, right?
3. Switch up your associations – Let’s rewrite ‘failure’ as an opportunity to learn and look at success as a journey filled with different chances to grow instead of a fixed destination.
4. Communicate – Remind ourselves, that it is perfectly okay to ask for help, and conversing with those we trust can act as a gentle balm of reassurance – others have been where we’re at, we’re not the only one.
Here's a resource that you might find interesting should you want to deep dive into this subject, and here's another one that might help you understand this syndrome better. And of course there will be many rooms we walk into where we will know the least and that's ok and in fact, that's great! Cause if not, either we're in awful company that isn't diverse and thereby challenging us to 'level up' or we're plain delusional. Knowing where our strengths lie, and how we can better hone and capitalise on them - while acknowledging what we can get better at and striving to do our best is key to any kind of growth. Imposter Syndrome, however, is when one is unable to ascertain if we truly are good at anything at all, even that which we may be getting external validation for. Battling and thriving despite it is easier said than done, but speaking from experience know, it isn’t impossible. Just like I consciously continue to allow myself the space to take baby steps towards progress, I also remind myself that this isn’t one of those things with an easy fix. Needless to say, some days are harder than the rest and that’s alright – let’s take pride in holding our shine and be an exemplar work in progress! Disclaimer: Better comprehending mental health struggles and disorders is akin to reading up about a physiological condition versus getting it treated. Please do not substitute seeing a mental health professional with DIY tips and tricks – it’s not a one-size-fits-all, what works for someone needn’t work for us all.
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